So…I work at a school. I have a few roles there. I’m the school nurse. I teach reading interventions. And I monitor the lunchroom for several grades. So, I get LOTS of interesting conversations. Here are just a few for your grins and giggles.
One day in the cafeteria a kindergarten boy walks up to me and says this…
K(inder) – “Mrs. Pierce, I’m not going to show anyone my penis today. ”
Me – *Shocked look…speechless*
K – “OH….and I’m not going to talk about it anymore.”
Me – “What just happened here?”
Next day…same class, different table of kinders…
K(inder)B(oy) – “Mrs. Pierce…SHE just showed us her penis.”
Me – “No, SHE didn’t.”
KB – “Yes, she did. She just showed us her penis.”
Me – “No, SHE didn’t.”
KB – “Yes, she did. She showed us her penis.”
Me – “No, she didn’t. Because she doesn’t have a penis.”
KB – (looking very confused) “Huh? What?”
Me – “No, she doesn’t have one.”
K(inder)G(irl) in question – ” I didn’t show it to him!”
Me – “Because you don’t have one!”
KG – “Huh? I didn’t show them anything.”
Me – “You don’t have one to show them. Don’t show them ANYTHING!!!”
I asked their teacher to not let her students talk to me anymore!
Then a couple of days ago, I took a second grade class upstairs until their sub got there. They sat in their spots on the carpet and I told them that we would go around the circle and each person can tell us ONE THING that they don’t think anyone will – know about them. ONE THING! Not two, not three, not seven, not fifteen…ONE THING. A couple of them got it. Learned some fun things about them. Then I got to second grade girl #1 (SG1) who is missing ALL of her front teeth, so has the most adorable little lisp.
SG1 – “Something most people don’t know about me…is that..I can get me feelings hurt really easily.” (Trust me, everyone knows this.)
Me – “That’s good to know, so we can be sensitive to that.”
We got to second grade girl #2 (SG2).
SG2 – “So, I have two things.”
Me – “Nope, only one thing.”
SG2 – “Well, they really go together.”
Me – “Pick one. We are telling ONE thing, not two, not five…remember.”
SG2 – “So, the first one is…”
Me – “Pick one.”
SG2 – “I can’t really tell just one without the other.”
Me – “Pick one thing you can share.”
SG2 – “So…everyone in our class, and other classes, and even in the school…they think I lie a lot.”
Me – “Next.”
Today was “career day”. Dress up as what you want to be when you grow up. I asked one girl what she was dressed up as.
G(girl) – “I’m Claire.”
Me – “Who is Claire?”
G – “She’s in Jurassic World.”
Me – “So, when you grow up, you want to be a character in Jurassic World?”
G – “Yeah!”
Me – Shaking my head…walk off.
Or the boy, who I asked the same question…he was dressed in some Star Wars character costume.
Me – “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
B(oy) – “A basketball player.” Literally rolling his eyes at me.
Me – “So, are you dressed like a basketball player?”
B – “No!” Looking at me like I’m an idiot.
Me – “So, why are you dressed in a Star Wars costume?”
B – “Cuz I didn’t have anything else.”
Me – “You know it’s career day, not Halloween, right?”
B – “Yea!” Still looking at me like I’m an idiot.
They are SERIOUSLY hilarious!! And apparently, I look like someone they feel they should tell weird stuff to. Like “Mrs. Pierce, my wee hurts!” Tell your mom, kid!
MoreThanAllTheNumbers 